A beautiful gift a friend recently shared with me, were these five words “I’ll hold space for you.” She was referencing a text exchange we had, and my mention that sitting with grief hasn’t been the easiest for me.
You see, I’m working on being intentional specific to my tendency to disassociate from the difficult & uncomfortable. Working to not numb myself with distraction, fun, retail therapy, digital escape or process tendencies of any kind that prevents me from being present with my reality. Instead, I’m trying to actually acknowledge, allow and process the feelings that come up for me around what is on my plate today. I’ll say the “doing” of it kind of feels sucky…it hits a lot differently vs. the magic carpet rides of experiential distractions.
Grief is something that has always felt a bit “weighty” for me. What I mean by that, is the last thing I want shaping the color/sound and exchange of the friendships I cherish…is my sad ass grief. Which, leaves space for the illusion of isolation & separateness because I typically keep it to myself which by default is a barrier to connection.
Instead, I’m attempting to stand in vulnerability & presence. First with myself, in allowing whatever is coming up for me…to come up. And when/as it does…allowing the truth of it to just be. I’m attempting more honest self accountability and the willingness to learn, to allow, to challenge my own assumptions in light of truth, to let go. I’m learning to hold space for myself…because I remember that even though my friends words of affirmation and love were an absolute treasure of a gift that fill me up; reminding me I am seen, loved & valued. The most important space that can and will ever be gifted to me, is that which I learn to hold for myself.
Gentle reminder today to my little girl, and to your inner child…you are loved, you are more than enough just as you are…and I will hold space for you.