On Gratitude

Summer is such a time of lush bloom, warmth & beauty.  I think similarly to Christmastime, it holds a magic that brings humanity together & reminds us to connect with each other, and ourselves.

I’ve had the privilege in my lifetime to experience a varying array of socio economic realities.  I was born & spent the beginning of my life in one of the most underserved neighborhoods in the city of Chicago.   My path since has led me to live in one of the most affluent ones.  I count myself fortunate to have known both the hardships of scarcity, as well as exquisite instances of counting stars.

The dualism of my experience has often been the root of deep internal conflict for me; especially during summer.  You see, Summer’s tend to peak in violence in underserved communities.  It’s then I most frequently find myself wrestling with complex frustrations which are out of my control; ranging from legacy incentives contributing to failed family structures, self serving spiritual & political leaders to sideways/ineffective governments, sub par to no mental wellness resources, and the general gross disconnection from self we’ve engrained into our cultural fabric…mostly to little avail.

The rabbit hole I unconsciously slip into from there- spirals of blame, self righteousness, judgement, shame, anger, disappointment, confusion & eventually grief.  It is exhausting  to pretend that my heart doesn’t break every time I hear the news of another young life lost to violence, drugs, gangs & the myriad of all the the things that robs the lives of young beautiful men and women.  It’s also exhausting & impossible to exist in a perpetual state of grief.  Which, if I held space for every young person whose life; (mostly children) has been lost that comes from an underserved community in Chicago like mine…would be the case.

So I lean into what I’m learning about surrender, faith, and gratitude.  Gratitude especially, as it rescues me back to the present moment.  I practice my breath work.  I invite God into the complex and unsolvable with me.  And I reminded that I am; we are each- deeply loved.  And today, holding space for that love fills me up & heals the turmoil within.

I say a prayer for the girls and boys growing up in places like I came from & I’m inspired to keep trying to show up, and make a difference where my feet are planted today in the hopes that the love I hold and share will be infectiously contagious. And when I remember gratitude, I remember love.  And love…is always the way forward.

“Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer. And let faith be the bridge you build to overcome evil and welcome good.”Maya Angelou